"The second you get this handbag wet, it metamorphoses into an obnoxious, anarchic monster that has no intention of dutifully holding your change purse or your Kotex while you sip a Mojito, and must eventually be pureed to death in a blender by your mom." Handbags of Horror
By SMF, Archived in
Design, Radar.com
I still care that the White Stripes are going to be on the Simpsons this fall. Over exposure, shmover exposure, I still think they're super awesome. Bonus below; the Raconteurs new video, set at a school for suspiciously good looking, deaf, teenaged girls.
By SMF, Archived in
Music
Q: Cuter way to die?
1. Mushed by the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
2. Shot through the heart with a teddy bear gun... Your choice.
By SMF, Archived in
War
Bob Ross teaches you to paint... (spooky voice) from beyond the grave!!!!!
By SMF, Archived in
Art
San Francisco in Jello! Even more impressive than it sounds!
By SMF, Archived in
Art
The war on Christmas claims it's 1st victim
By SMF, Archived in
Culture
"The President peered into Marshmallow's eyes and stroked the bird's fluffy white feathers with a tenderness usually reserved for members of the Saudi royal family."
By SMF, Archived in
Miscellaneous
29 vegetarians agree: it's okay to use a frozen turkey to save elderly people from certain death.
By SMF, Archived in
Miscellaneous
Patriot Bill O'Reilly on vacationing in San Francisco; ""Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead, and if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead." Pffffft! Only red state tourist even go to Coit Tower.
By SMF, Archived in
Places
"A robot trying to find you will use thermal imaging based on the roughly 91-degree temperature of human skin, so smearing yourself in cool mud will confuse them." Finally someone from CMU gives me some advise I can use.
By SMF, Archived in
Robots
Lacking spiritual direction? Curious about the Hitler youth? Build your own Pope!
By SMF, Archived in
People
All the sexy style without any of the unsexy slaughter. Terrorist chic. From where else, freedom hating Frenchies.
By SMF, Archived in
Design
The spirit of America? WISKEY! Olde Geo Washington made $300k distilling 11,000 gallons of it while birthing a nation on the side. America, FUCK YEAH!!!
By SMF, Archived in
Politics
Methods Other Than Song by Which One Can Be Killed Softly, because it's Friday afternoon, and you deserve it.
By SMF, Archived in
Culture
While I show moderate signs of irritable male syndrome , I feel like it could be a lot worse. For instance if I was a man. Take this Newsweek quiz and find out whether you're an Alan Alda or a Donald Rumsfeld. (i'm more of an Anderson Cooper, er, I mean I want to make out with Anderson Cooper)
By SMF, Archived in
Itches
Not to shamelessly promote my friends, but check out my friend Teppei's new website. Did ya like that? Hows about checking out some sweet paintings from Deth P. Sun too. Not that that kid needs any promotion.
By SMF, Archived in
Art
Feel the hype at TypeCon 2005
(hype available only in NYC)
By SMF, Archived in
Design
Holy cow, this magical piece of video is, I believe, the entire reason the internet was pieced together by egg heads. Warning! There's a high probablility that you may pee your pants.
By SMF, Archived in
Music
Do you lay in bed at night wondering how many people in America you're better than? I do, and now I know it's 53%. Use this dandy nytimes class calculator to find out where you fit in. It's both classist and egregious!
By SMF, Archived in
Culture
I swear, they had the same guys who designed the big head $20 bill, design the new food pyramid. It uses that stupid clip art guy and I have to swallow a little vomit that comes up every time I see him. Plus it makes baby jesus cry. Anyway... Slate was smart enough to hand the project over to some actual designers and in 2 days for free they came up with much spankier ideas.
By SMF, Archived in
Design
A short history of breast enhancements
with drawings! Leaves me satisfied with the cupcakes, don't need to front like the whole bakery section at Safeway.
By SMF, Archived in
Innovation
Why are modern pirates so mean?
They just Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
By SMF, Archived in
War
"We used to say if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun." I salute you Mr. Rather, do not go quietly into that dark night...
By SMF, Archived in
People
I haven't seen them in person but I hear that the gates are really magestic. Pay no attention to the gigantic cat.
By SMF, Archived in
Art
The death knell for rap's cred; 10,000 tweed and pearl wrapped country clubbers dying to get into neighbor 50 cent's party. Plus, last week my mom told me 50 cent was her favorite new band, so...
By SMF, Archived in
Music
I'm kicking myself for not doing this first. Enjoy the swell rollover function.
By SMF, Archived in
Art
New! For grannies, drinking! Sexier than mall walking, goes down easier than Metamucil.
By SMF, Archived in
Miscellaneous
I know alot of people don't want to sit on a couch with me, but it apears that fidgeting is all that keeps me from having to be weighed on the postal scale.
By SMF, Archived in
Miscellaneous
Steelers forge winning season by playing flashlight tag during a hurricane!
By SMF, Archived in
Places
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