I’m not sure what the Italians over at Pirelli mean by “Better dumping performance”, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want any.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 09.Feb.04
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

Pizza Party USA is a brilliantly conceived plan for our national priorities on February 29th. I especially like the part about how the only people allowed to work on the proposed holliday will be the mail carriers to deliver the pizza and that they will “receive a copy of The Shins’ Chutes Too Narrow for their trouble”. That is one hell of an album.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 04.Feb.04
Archived in: Itches
Comments:2

A whale of a story. Grossest EVER.
Posted by HMK
Posted on 29.Jan.04
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

A few simple alternatives to dating.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 27.Jan.04
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

happy fucking yule, jerks.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 22.Dec.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

a sad event: my second favorite mass-produced pastry, behind the chocolate glazed donut, is gone
Posted by JFB
Posted on 28.Oct.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

PROOF! Proof that the 5 Second Rule is legit. Food service employees of the land rejoice!
Posted by HMK
Posted on 20.Oct.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

I can't decide if these are cute or an open invitation for a Harley rider to beat the motherloving shit out of you.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 16.Oct.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

scientists suggest infrasound to be the cause of ghost/haunted police station phenomena.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 08.Sep.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

Who knows how much of a difference this will make in the long run, but at least there's hope. www.donotcall.gov went live today. There are about 10 billion people trying to register currently, so I would wait a bit.
Posted by HMK
Posted on 27.Jun.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

Please do this for me. It takes less than like, 5 seconds. The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. Go to their site and click on the purple button, "Feed An Animal In Need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Come on, don't be a turd. Just do it.
(animals are sad when they are hungry, but when you feed them, you make them happy)
Posted by HMK
Posted on 13.Jun.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:1

Shit: Kat and I got a patent! They didn't even tell us, Kat stumbled across it.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 30.Apr.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:1

It may be cold in antarctica, but it's never too cold to protest a bull$hit war.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 24.Feb.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

huh. more japanese see-thru stuff. this one's a little kinky, though.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 22.Feb.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

A woman in Cook County Illinois, is suing Loews Movie Theatres for the deceptive business practice of showing ads before films. God bless her. Cook County is the home of many fine americans.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 21.Feb.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

A direct, no frills guide to why you should not panic. If anyone is getting really antsy over code orange or whatever it is that we're at these days, this might help. Happy Valentine's Day too, my lovelies.
Posted by HMK
Posted on 14.Feb.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:3

Life imitates art.
Posted by CNE
Posted on 21.Jan.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:4

Welcome to Zombo.com
Posted by TB
Posted on 10.Jan.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

A good article that attempts to wrestle the big question, "What should I do with my life?"
Posted by HMK
Posted on 06.Jan.03
Archived in: Itches
Comments:1

my crotch is on fire but it ain't the clap, it's my laptop!
Posted by HMK
Posted on 25.Nov.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

Pope tells italians they're not having enough sex.
Posted by GMH
Posted on 14.Nov.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

(After telling Jeff this story last night, he said I should post it, so here goes)

The Most Bizarre Thing That Has Happened to Me in a Good While

So my guy, Dan, and I were approached by a swinger. For real. We were at this bar, the Southern Belle, on Saturday night with a group of friends. We had been there for an hour or so when a strange man approached us. He was a 35-40ish drunk redneck who looked like this. Well, minus the shades. Anyway, here is the conversation that ensued:

Swinger: "Excuse me man, are you two a couple?"
Dan & Harriet: "mmm, yeah?"
S: "Well, look, it's my girlfriend's birthday. We don't really have anything planned, but we've invited some other couples back over to our place with us. You're welcome to come . . . " wink wink
(AND THEN!)
S: "I can't do drugs cos I get tested for work see, but we can get you guys whatever you're into"
H: "mmm, not so much"
D: "NO."

Dayton is a strange place . . .

Posted by HMK
Posted on 24.Sep.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:1

Do you ever have one of those days where you're going to go to the gym after work before getting to bed early so you'll be refreshed the next day, but instead, you start drinking whiskey through a funnel and playing Mario Sunshine until five in the morning? Uh, no link or anything, I'm just wondering. . .
Posted by TB
Posted on 28.Aug.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:4

Curiously, I know the answer. The answer is yes. Why ask such a question? The Aquatic Ape Theory.
Posted by TB
Posted on 26.Aug.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

What? Is it a trick question? I don't understand. Is the answer yes?
Posted by JFB
Posted on 26.Aug.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:2

I'm moving to Boston soon. But if you are in PGH and will be around Saturday, then show up here.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 01.Aug.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:3

whoops. coke fiend busted after leaving his driver's license in a baggie of white powder.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 19.Jun.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

Australian prostitutes exhausted from servicing US Navy, take day off.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 09.May.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

never trust the sexy, sexy ladies.
Posted by JFB
Posted on 30.Apr.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:0

so this morning i saw recently-dead celebrity Robert Urich on tv urging me to purchase an electric tongue scraper. now, i am sure the good people of CyberSonic are very sad for Urich's family, and i understand that it would be quite expensive to make a new half-hour commercial starring, say, Gary Coleman's tv brother. but still, it's only been 8 days. how about a little moratorium, guys?
also, the rentals sue weezer (3rd item).
Posted by JFB
Posted on 24.Apr.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:1

I don't know if I should be proud or not. Itchy Robot is the top result for the Google search "itchy urine."
um, yeah!
Posted by GMH
Posted on 23.Apr.02
Archived in: Itches
Comments:2